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I really want to fuck a midget


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#51 bakes

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Posted 02 December 2010 - 07:57 PM

QUOTE(Butters @ Nov 22 2010, 11:05 PM)  

I think I saw this on MANswers, that Spike show. There are a few at the Nevada brothels. Also, apparently they are like twice as expensive.

That's bullshit. Should be half off.
Welcome! Yes, EV'rybody's welcome here in Great Big Fucking Dogtown!! Home to many Big Fucking American and ethnic restaurants, a vital Big Fucking downtown with a diverse group of Big Fucking merchants willing to cater to your Big Fucking needs, well maintained Big Fucking sidewalks with Big Fucking toddlers joyfully riding on Big Fucking Wheels, safe Big Fucking streets, our excellent Big Fucking School system and the defending State Division II-A High School Football Champions, the Big Fucking Dogtown Big Fucking Dogs, and of course, the Big Fucking Dog himself, Big Fucking Dog! - Brought to you by the Big Fucking Dogtown Big Fucking Merchant's Big Fucking Association, copyright 199-Big-Fucking-9.

"Body of Christ?"

*nods*

"Plain or peanut?"

#52 redman

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Posted 02 December 2010 - 10:48 PM

QUOTE(bakes @ Dec 2 2010, 05:57 PM)  

QUOTE(Butters @ Nov 22 2010, 11:05 PM)  

I think I saw this on MANswers, that Spike show. There are a few at the Nevada brothels. Also, apparently they are like twice as expensive.

That's bullshit. Should be half off.


lol.gif I'm laughing WAY too hard at this. I pictured you all pissed off saying that.
"There is no such thing as bad language - it's just our morals that are fucked." - Billy Connolly
QUOTE(Facial @ Mar 10 2008, 04:28 PM) View Post
Genetics - for whatever, relative to the porn I've seen, I can shoot a pretty big load (I'd say like 2 fluid ounces). Apparently you can't.
QUOTE(General Malaise @ Dec 21 2009, 11:53 AM) View Post
I not only bragged about the hot chicks I nailed, but I'd brag double about the hideous fat ones too. It's nearly impossible to duplicate or replicate the laughter one gets from revealing to his group of buddies he just fucked a wookie with a weight problem.
QUOTE(Butters @ Mar 7 2010, 12:51 PM) View Post
Actually looking back now that I'm healed it was pretty fucking awesome. I was ordered by my doctor/dermatologist to not have sex for at least seven days.

#53 the rover

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Posted 03 December 2010 - 03:08 PM

Every time I visit this site, this thread title makes me laugh.

#54 St. Louis Bob

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Posted 03 December 2010 - 04:21 PM

This movie was made for you.

QUOTE(Kal El @ Jan 5 2008, 08:00 PM) View Post

QUOTE(Officer Pete Malloy @ Jan 5 2008, 08:59 PM) View Post
You steal money from the poor box at church.

My church doesn't have a poor box, and besides, I don't show up onto a message board and try to boss people around after 3 days.

#55 AnonymousBob

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Posted 03 December 2010 - 04:38 PM

QUOTE(St. Louis Bob @ Dec 3 2010, 05:21 PM)  

It features dwarves, not midgets. No dice.

#56 St. Louis Bob

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Posted 03 December 2010 - 05:45 PM

QUOTE(AnonymousBob @ Dec 3 2010, 05:38 PM)  

QUOTE(St. Louis Bob @ Dec 3 2010, 05:21 PM)  

It features dwarves, not midgets. No dice.


I didn't even read the review, I heard about this on the radio today.

QUOTE
A truly worthless piece of cinema, "Somewhere Under the Rainbow" is the only pornographic movie I have ever seen that did not turn me on at all. I found it at College Hill Video in Greensboro, NC, where I also bought "Transformers: the Movie." My purchase of SUTR was actually a replacement for a copy that a friend of mine gave me. That copy of the movie was stolen from my friend's car while he and I and two other friends were seeing They Might Be Giants perform at the 9:30 Club in Washington DC later that summer; someone broke into his car and stole my stuff, their stuff, and a pack of gum, leaving behind the credit card that was lying on top of the pack of gum in the ash tray.

This movie features real Hungarian midgets (dwarfs, actually... check with OED) and real Hungarian people. Character names include Zoltan, Li'l Huggies, and Panther. Panther is by far the most talented actor in the film, if only because of his body. He stands, by my guess, about 2'6" tall, has testicles about as big aroiund as a dime (that's US currency), and a penis about the size of a pencil eraser. It did not get hard (or soft, I couldn't tell which state it was in in the scene he was in), but one of the tall folks did indeed lick it one time.

There was no discernable plot, but that was probably because the dialogue was not dubbed; only the "ooh's" and "aah's" were dubbed. And, as most fans of adult cinema know, plot is not one of driving forces behind the genre. To that matter, neither is dialogue.

Anyway, my friend Rich masturbated to Panther's scene while listening to Weird Al's "Polka Party" album as I and four other people looked on. He wiped up with a dirty sock I found under the Pound me in the ass!.

I give this movie a 10.


lol.gif lol.gif lol.gif

ETA

lol.gif

QUOTE(Kal El @ Jan 5 2008, 08:00 PM) View Post

QUOTE(Officer Pete Malloy @ Jan 5 2008, 08:59 PM) View Post
You steal money from the poor box at church.

My church doesn't have a poor box, and besides, I don't show up onto a message board and try to boss people around after 3 days.

#57 redman

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Posted 03 December 2010 - 06:42 PM

QUOTE(AnonymousBob @ Dec 3 2010, 02:38 PM)  

QUOTE(St. Louis Bob @ Dec 3 2010, 05:21 PM)  

It features dwarves, not midgets. No dice.


Oh, like you're some kind of fucking little people conoisseur. You'll get next-to-nothing and like it.
"There is no such thing as bad language - it's just our morals that are fucked." - Billy Connolly
QUOTE(Facial @ Mar 10 2008, 04:28 PM) View Post
Genetics - for whatever, relative to the porn I've seen, I can shoot a pretty big load (I'd say like 2 fluid ounces). Apparently you can't.
QUOTE(General Malaise @ Dec 21 2009, 11:53 AM) View Post
I not only bragged about the hot chicks I nailed, but I'd brag double about the hideous fat ones too. It's nearly impossible to duplicate or replicate the laughter one gets from revealing to his group of buddies he just fucked a wookie with a weight problem.
QUOTE(Butters @ Mar 7 2010, 12:51 PM) View Post
Actually looking back now that I'm healed it was pretty fucking awesome. I was ordered by my doctor/dermatologist to not have sex for at least seven days.

#58 AnonymousBob

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Posted 03 December 2010 - 06:49 PM

QUOTE(redman @ Dec 3 2010, 07:42 PM)  

QUOTE(AnonymousBob @ Dec 3 2010, 02:38 PM)  

QUOTE(St. Louis Bob @ Dec 3 2010, 05:21 PM)  

It features dwarves, not midgets. No dice.


Oh, like you're some kind of fucking little people conoisseur. You'll get next-to-nothing and like it.

Look bud, I said I want to fuck a midget. Not a gremlin, hobbit, munchkin, or dwarf. A midget. We all need to have goals in life that we won't sell short. This is mine.

Midget or bust.

#59 Thomas Serveaux

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Posted 04 December 2010 - 08:05 AM

QUOTE(St. Louis Bob @ Dec 3 2010, 06:45 PM)  

QUOTE(AnonymousBob @ Dec 3 2010, 05:38 PM)  

QUOTE(St. Louis Bob @ Dec 3 2010, 05:21 PM)  

It features dwarves, not midgets. No dice.


I didn't even read the review, I heard about this on the radio today.

QUOTE
A truly worthless piece of cinema, "Somewhere Under the Rainbow" is the only pornographic movie I have ever seen that did not turn me on at all. I found it at College Hill Video in Greensboro, NC, where I also bought "Transformers: the Movie." My purchase of SUTR was actually a replacement for a copy that a friend of mine gave me. That copy of the movie was stolen from my friend's car while he and I and two other friends were seeing They Might Be Giants perform at the 9:30 Club in Washington DC later that summer; someone broke into his car and stole my stuff, their stuff, and a pack of gum, leaving behind the credit card that was lying on top of the pack of gum in the ash tray.

This movie features real Hungarian midgets (dwarfs, actually... check with OED) and real Hungarian people. Character names include Zoltan, Li'l Huggies, and Panther. Panther is by far the most talented actor in the film, if only because of his body. He stands, by my guess, about 2'6" tall, has testicles about as big aroiund as a dime (that's US currency), and a penis about the size of a pencil eraser. It did not get hard (or soft, I couldn't tell which state it was in in the scene he was in), but one of the tall folks did indeed lick it one time.

There was no discernable plot, but that was probably because the dialogue was not dubbed; only the "ooh's" and "aah's" were dubbed. And, as most fans of adult cinema know, plot is not one of driving forces behind the genre. To that matter, neither is dialogue.

Anyway, my friend Rich masturbated to Panther's scene while listening to Weird Al's "Polka Party" album as I and four other people looked on. He wiped up with a dirty sock I found under the Pound me in the ass!.

I give this movie a 10.


lol.gif lol.gif lol.gif

ETA

lol.gif

lol.gif lol.gif lol.gif
He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don't let that fool you. He really is an idiot. ― Groucho Marx

#60 jplvr

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Posted 10 December 2010 - 09:01 PM

I saw a midget tonight, I thought... I was pretty sure. I was parking at the Fresh Market and I saw her walking in to get her nails (hooves?) done next door. She was barely taller than the push bar for the door to the store... 3 inches taller than said push bar on the door, maybe.

I was concerned that maybe she was just a fat, underaged girl and was preparing to confirm/take a picture, but the second time one of the asianeds in the shop noticed me, they pointed me out to the midget, which was then confirmed. I should've been more ready to take the pic.

No, I wouldn't have fucked that thing and I'd fuck just about anything right now.

#61 Da Guru

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Posted 14 December 2010 - 06:46 PM

I used to work with a decent looking midget. May have to look her up on Facebook.
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#62 Turtle

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Posted 14 December 2010 - 07:41 PM

so hows' the quest going?

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#63 AnonymousBob

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Posted 19 December 2010 - 03:55 PM

Still no prospects.

#64 SofaKings

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Posted 20 December 2010 - 03:07 PM

"I hope they serve beer in hell", rent it.

#65 Shiznitttt

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Posted 26 December 2010 - 10:08 PM

http://www.sexyescor...um_size/279860/

#66 Truckasaurus

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Posted 26 December 2010 - 11:08 PM

QUOTE(SofaKings @ Dec 20 2010, 04:07 PM)  

"I hope they serve beer in hell", rent it.

Isn't this the movie by the guy who makes all the shit up? shrug2.gif
QUOTE(Butters @ Aug 22 2009, 03:06 AM) View Post

I wo=ind up giving her most of my bank account to either get pre-natal shit or abort the thing - she doesn't get the fuck i'm gonna be no hero because i dodn't even jkniow if it's mine. she threatens sokme shit about my job, i take the necessary precautions because i don't trust her crazy ass. i still bang her now and then because life is boring. however on wedenesady i'm working late because i aheva jury trial the next day (went fine) and she calls and says she is hemoraging (sp?). i took her in and she is miscarrying. prtobably a nice ending.


QUOTE
"My decision to do porno has forced me to take my religion within: because of my job I am stronger in my relationship with God, because now I take God with me everywhere I go; if I donít, Iíll fail to get an erection. I didnít know that God blessed me with an abnormally large penis, until i had a revelation in which Jesus told me to make porno. So I feel blessed."


-Lexington Steele

#67 bakes

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Posted 27 December 2010 - 12:37 AM

QUOTE(Shiznitttt @ Dec 26 2010, 11:08 PM)  


Eh. She's a social smoker, probably stunted her growth.
Welcome! Yes, EV'rybody's welcome here in Great Big Fucking Dogtown!! Home to many Big Fucking American and ethnic restaurants, a vital Big Fucking downtown with a diverse group of Big Fucking merchants willing to cater to your Big Fucking needs, well maintained Big Fucking sidewalks with Big Fucking toddlers joyfully riding on Big Fucking Wheels, safe Big Fucking streets, our excellent Big Fucking School system and the defending State Division II-A High School Football Champions, the Big Fucking Dogtown Big Fucking Dogs, and of course, the Big Fucking Dog himself, Big Fucking Dog! - Brought to you by the Big Fucking Dogtown Big Fucking Merchant's Big Fucking Association, copyright 199-Big-Fucking-9.

"Body of Christ?"

*nods*

"Plain or peanut?"

#68 redman

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Posted 27 December 2010 - 01:22 AM

QUOTE(bakes @ Dec 26 2010, 10:37 PM)  

QUOTE(Shiznitttt @ Dec 26 2010, 11:08 PM)  


Eh. She's a social smoker, probably stunted her growth.


Here she is stretched out on a cat skin rug.
"There is no such thing as bad language - it's just our morals that are fucked." - Billy Connolly
QUOTE(Facial @ Mar 10 2008, 04:28 PM) View Post
Genetics - for whatever, relative to the porn I've seen, I can shoot a pretty big load (I'd say like 2 fluid ounces). Apparently you can't.
QUOTE(General Malaise @ Dec 21 2009, 11:53 AM) View Post
I not only bragged about the hot chicks I nailed, but I'd brag double about the hideous fat ones too. It's nearly impossible to duplicate or replicate the laughter one gets from revealing to his group of buddies he just fucked a wookie with a weight problem.
QUOTE(Butters @ Mar 7 2010, 12:51 PM) View Post
Actually looking back now that I'm healed it was pretty fucking awesome. I was ordered by my doctor/dermatologist to not have sex for at least seven days.

#69 AnonymousBob

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Posted 12 January 2011 - 11:17 PM

QUOTE(redman @ Dec 27 2010, 02:22 AM)  

QUOTE(bakes @ Dec 26 2010, 10:37 PM)  

QUOTE(Shiznitttt @ Dec 26 2010, 11:08 PM)  


Eh. She's a social smoker, probably stunted her growth.


Here she is stretched out on a cat skin rug.

That works for me.

#70 Thomas Serveaux

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Posted 01 January 2012 - 10:28 AM

Update?
He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don't let that fool you. He really is an idiot. ― Groucho Marx

#71 redman

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Posted 01 January 2012 - 11:20 AM

QUOTE(Da Guru @ Dec 14 2010, 04:46 PM)  

I used to work with a decent looking midget. May have to look her up on Facebook.


What sucks is that you can only see the top of her head in her profile photo.
"There is no such thing as bad language - it's just our morals that are fucked." - Billy Connolly
QUOTE(Facial @ Mar 10 2008, 04:28 PM) View Post
Genetics - for whatever, relative to the porn I've seen, I can shoot a pretty big load (I'd say like 2 fluid ounces). Apparently you can't.
QUOTE(General Malaise @ Dec 21 2009, 11:53 AM) View Post
I not only bragged about the hot chicks I nailed, but I'd brag double about the hideous fat ones too. It's nearly impossible to duplicate or replicate the laughter one gets from revealing to his group of buddies he just fucked a wookie with a weight problem.
QUOTE(Butters @ Mar 7 2010, 12:51 PM) View Post
Actually looking back now that I'm healed it was pretty fucking awesome. I was ordered by my doctor/dermatologist to not have sex for at least seven days.

#72 nitro

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Posted 04 January 2012 - 01:44 PM

IPB Image


blink.gif

#73 jplvr

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Posted 17 February 2012 - 06:39 PM

I took my own advice.

#74 AnonymousBob

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Posted 17 February 2012 - 08:08 PM

IPB Image

I so would.

#75 jplvr

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Posted 17 February 2012 - 09:36 PM

Isn't a person into midgets just a closet pedophile?

#76 redman

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Posted 17 February 2012 - 10:23 PM

QUOTE(jplvr @ Feb 17 2012, 07:36 PM)  

Isn't a person into midgets just a closet pedophile?


More of a cabinet pedophile actually.
"There is no such thing as bad language - it's just our morals that are fucked." - Billy Connolly
QUOTE(Facial @ Mar 10 2008, 04:28 PM) View Post
Genetics - for whatever, relative to the porn I've seen, I can shoot a pretty big load (I'd say like 2 fluid ounces). Apparently you can't.
QUOTE(General Malaise @ Dec 21 2009, 11:53 AM) View Post
I not only bragged about the hot chicks I nailed, but I'd brag double about the hideous fat ones too. It's nearly impossible to duplicate or replicate the laughter one gets from revealing to his group of buddies he just fucked a wookie with a weight problem.
QUOTE(Butters @ Mar 7 2010, 12:51 PM) View Post
Actually looking back now that I'm healed it was pretty fucking awesome. I was ordered by my doctor/dermatologist to not have sex for at least seven days.

#77 Christo

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Posted 18 February 2012 - 11:07 AM

QUOTE(jplvr @ Feb 17 2012, 09:36 PM)  

Isn't a person into midgets just a closet pedophile?

Where'd you get that psychology degree? Do you also think it's gay to enjoy a woman playing with your ass?
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#78 KnowledgeReignsSupreme

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Posted 18 February 2012 - 08:59 PM

QUOTE(Christo @ Feb 18 2012, 12:07 PM)  

QUOTE(jplvr @ Feb 17 2012, 09:36 PM)  

Isn't a person into midgets just a closet pedophile?

Where'd you get that psychology degree? Do you also think it's gay to enjoy a woman playing with your ass?

Is she sticking a man's dick in there?
QUOTE(Facial @ Dec 5 2007, 03:59 PM) View Post

QUOTE(FuckTheLaw @ Dec 5 2007, 02:56 PM) View Post


Seriously, I am no where near as dumb as you.


Fair enough


QUOTE(Cumbubbler @ Mar 5 2013, 06:19 AM) View Post

I have a standing offer to bang a guy for $1500.


#79 AnonymousBob

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Posted 19 February 2012 - 10:44 AM

I'm thinkin' about adding a paraplegic and a deaf to the list. Wonder how the deaf chick would sound when she screamed and how legless would screw. I can't be the only one with these curiosities, right?

#80 redman

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Posted 19 February 2012 - 11:54 AM

QUOTE(AnonymousBob @ Feb 19 2012, 08:44 AM)  

I'm thinkin' about adding a paraplegic and a deaf to the list. Wonder how the deaf chick would sound when she screamed and how legless would screw. I can't be the only one with these curiosities, right?


The deaf chick would probably have one hell of an elhaaaaaaawwwweeeeaaahh face.
"There is no such thing as bad language - it's just our morals that are fucked." - Billy Connolly
QUOTE(Facial @ Mar 10 2008, 04:28 PM) View Post
Genetics - for whatever, relative to the porn I've seen, I can shoot a pretty big load (I'd say like 2 fluid ounces). Apparently you can't.
QUOTE(General Malaise @ Dec 21 2009, 11:53 AM) View Post
I not only bragged about the hot chicks I nailed, but I'd brag double about the hideous fat ones too. It's nearly impossible to duplicate or replicate the laughter one gets from revealing to his group of buddies he just fucked a wookie with a weight problem.
QUOTE(Butters @ Mar 7 2010, 12:51 PM) View Post
Actually looking back now that I'm healed it was pretty fucking awesome. I was ordered by my doctor/dermatologist to not have sex for at least seven days.

#81 bakes

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Posted 19 February 2012 - 11:12 PM

QUOTE(AnonymousBob @ Feb 19 2012, 11:44 AM)  

I'm thinkin' about adding a paraplegic and a deaf to the list. Wonder how the deaf chick would sound when she screamed and how legless would screw. I can't be the only one with these curiosities, right?

Get the legless woman on top and give her a spin. yes.gif
Welcome! Yes, EV'rybody's welcome here in Great Big Fucking Dogtown!! Home to many Big Fucking American and ethnic restaurants, a vital Big Fucking downtown with a diverse group of Big Fucking merchants willing to cater to your Big Fucking needs, well maintained Big Fucking sidewalks with Big Fucking toddlers joyfully riding on Big Fucking Wheels, safe Big Fucking streets, our excellent Big Fucking School system and the defending State Division II-A High School Football Champions, the Big Fucking Dogtown Big Fucking Dogs, and of course, the Big Fucking Dog himself, Big Fucking Dog! - Brought to you by the Big Fucking Dogtown Big Fucking Merchant's Big Fucking Association, copyright 199-Big-Fucking-9.

"Body of Christ?"

*nods*

"Plain or peanut?"

#82 oddball

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Posted 20 February 2012 - 09:52 AM

QUOTE(bakes @ Feb 20 2012, 12:12 AM)  

QUOTE(AnonymousBob @ Feb 19 2012, 11:44 AM)  

I'm thinkin' about adding a paraplegic and a deaf to the list. Wonder how the deaf chick would sound when she screamed and how legless would screw. I can't be the only one with these curiosities, right?

Get the legless woman on top and give her a spin. yes.gif

I was with a girl for a while who was wheelchair bound(no feeling from the knees down).

It sounds like an adventure, but it does have some limiting features.
QUOTE(AnonymousBob @ Oct 21 2010, 08:34 PM) View Post

I like the way this oddball guy thinks.

#83 AnonymousBob

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Posted 20 February 2012 - 10:14 AM

QUOTE(oddball @ Feb 20 2012, 10:52 AM)  

QUOTE(bakes @ Feb 20 2012, 12:12 AM)  

QUOTE(AnonymousBob @ Feb 19 2012, 11:44 AM)  

I'm thinkin' about adding a paraplegic and a deaf to the list. Wonder how the deaf chick would sound when she screamed and how legless would screw. I can't be the only one with these curiosities, right?

Get the legless woman on top and give her a spin. yes.gif

I was with a girl for a while who was wheelchair bound(no feeling from the knees down).

It sounds like an adventure, but it does have some limiting features.

Go on...

IPB Image

#84 Butters

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Posted 20 February 2012 - 10:24 AM

QUOTE(jplvr @ Feb 17 2012, 10:36 PM)  

Isn't a person into midgets just a closet pedophile?

IPB Image
I fuck hot chicks

#85 oddball

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Posted 20 February 2012 - 10:34 AM

QUOTE(AnonymousBob @ Feb 20 2012, 11:14 AM)  

QUOTE(oddball @ Feb 20 2012, 10:52 AM)  

QUOTE(bakes @ Feb 20 2012, 12:12 AM)  

QUOTE(AnonymousBob @ Feb 19 2012, 11:44 AM)  

I'm thinkin' about adding a paraplegic and a deaf to the list. Wonder how the deaf chick would sound when she screamed and how legless would screw. I can't be the only one with these curiosities, right?

Get the legless woman on top and give her a spin. yes.gif

I was with a girl for a while who was wheelchair bound(no feeling from the knees down).

It sounds like an adventure, but it does have some limiting features.

Go on...

IPB Image

lol.gif

Legs in the air is a near impossibility. No fucking standing up. Taking her from behind was ok, but she had a hard time using leverage to push back.

We tried it in her wheelchair once, but those stupid arms were too narrow and wouldn't come off(the chairs, not hers).
QUOTE(AnonymousBob @ Oct 21 2010, 08:34 PM) View Post

I like the way this oddball guy thinks.

#86 redman

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Posted 20 February 2012 - 10:47 AM

QUOTE(oddball @ Feb 20 2012, 08:34 AM)  

QUOTE(AnonymousBob @ Feb 20 2012, 11:14 AM)  

QUOTE(oddball @ Feb 20 2012, 10:52 AM)  

QUOTE(bakes @ Feb 20 2012, 12:12 AM)  

QUOTE(AnonymousBob @ Feb 19 2012, 11:44 AM)  

I'm thinkin' about adding a paraplegic and a deaf to the list. Wonder how the deaf chick would sound when she screamed and how legless would screw. I can't be the only one with these curiosities, right?

Get the legless woman on top and give her a spin. yes.gif

I was with a girl for a while who was wheelchair bound(no feeling from the knees down).

It sounds like an adventure, but it does have some limiting features.

Go on...

IPB Image

lol.gif

Legs in the air is a near impossibility. No fucking standing up. Taking her from behind was ok, but she had a hard time using leverage to push back.

We tried it in her wheelchair once, but those stupid arms were too narrow and wouldn't come off(the chairs, not hers).


Dude, she's on wheels. I don't think it takes a physics degree to figure out how to get around this particular problem.
"There is no such thing as bad language - it's just our morals that are fucked." - Billy Connolly
QUOTE(Facial @ Mar 10 2008, 04:28 PM) View Post
Genetics - for whatever, relative to the porn I've seen, I can shoot a pretty big load (I'd say like 2 fluid ounces). Apparently you can't.
QUOTE(General Malaise @ Dec 21 2009, 11:53 AM) View Post
I not only bragged about the hot chicks I nailed, but I'd brag double about the hideous fat ones too. It's nearly impossible to duplicate or replicate the laughter one gets from revealing to his group of buddies he just fucked a wookie with a weight problem.
QUOTE(Butters @ Mar 7 2010, 12:51 PM) View Post
Actually looking back now that I'm healed it was pretty fucking awesome. I was ordered by my doctor/dermatologist to not have sex for at least seven days.

#87 AnonymousBob

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Posted 20 February 2012 - 10:48 AM

QUOTE(oddball @ Feb 20 2012, 11:34 AM)  

lol.gif

Legs in the air is a near impossibility. No fucking standing up. Taking her from behind was ok, but she had a hard time using leverage to push back.

We tried it in her wheelchair once, but those stupid arms were too narrow and wouldn't come off(the chairs, not hers).

So what options do you have? Cut a hole in a saddle? Baby jumper?

#88 oddball

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Posted 20 February 2012 - 11:03 AM

QUOTE(AnonymousBob @ Feb 20 2012, 11:48 AM)  

QUOTE(oddball @ Feb 20 2012, 11:34 AM)  

lol.gif

Legs in the air is a near impossibility. No fucking standing up. Taking her from behind was ok, but she had a hard time using leverage to push back.

We tried it in her wheelchair once, but those stupid arms were too narrow and wouldn't come off(the chairs, not hers).

So what options do you have? Cut a hole in a saddle? Baby jumper?

I'd drag her onto the bed. On her back was cool, but I had to support her legs.
QUOTE(AnonymousBob @ Oct 21 2010, 08:34 PM) View Post

I like the way this oddball guy thinks.

#89 bananafish

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Posted 21 February 2012 - 12:48 AM

How does one have no feeling from the knees down?

#90 AnonymousBob

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Posted 21 February 2012 - 05:57 AM

QUOTE(bananafish @ Feb 21 2012, 01:48 AM)  

How does one have no feeling from the knees down?

I give up. How?

#91 jplvr

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Posted 21 February 2012 - 08:54 AM

QUOTE(AnonymousBob @ Feb 19 2012, 10:44 AM)  

I'm thinkin' about adding a paraplegic and a deaf to the list. Wonder how the deaf chick would sound when she screamed and how legless would screw. I can't be the only one with these curiosities, right?

A friend of mine dated a deaf chick, and after they broke up, he said sex was weird because it always sounded like he was fucking a retard.

#92 oddball

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Posted 21 February 2012 - 08:55 AM

QUOTE(bananafish @ Feb 21 2012, 01:48 AM)  

How does one have no feeling from the knees down?

She's had diabetes pretty much since she was born. In her early twenties she went into a diabetic coma, and woke up without the use of her legs.

On a side note, her desperateness to have a boyfriend led to as much sex as I could handle.
QUOTE(AnonymousBob @ Oct 21 2010, 08:34 PM) View Post

I like the way this oddball guy thinks.

#93 jplvr

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Posted 21 February 2012 - 08:56 AM

QUOTE(oddball @ Feb 21 2012, 08:55 AM)  

QUOTE(bananafish @ Feb 21 2012, 01:48 AM)  

How does one have no feeling from the knees down?

She's had diabetes pretty much since she was born. In her early twenties she went into a diabetic coma, and woke up without the use of her legs.

On a side note, her desperateness to have a boyfriend led to as much sex as I could handle.

I'm unsure of where to slap it.

#94 redman

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Posted 21 February 2012 - 10:01 AM

QUOTE(jplvr @ Feb 21 2012, 06:56 AM)  

QUOTE(oddball @ Feb 21 2012, 08:55 AM)  

QUOTE(bananafish @ Feb 21 2012, 01:48 AM)  

How does one have no feeling from the knees down?

She's had diabetes pretty much since she was born. In her early twenties she went into a diabetic coma, and woke up without the use of her legs.

On a side note, her desperateness to have a boyfriend led to as much sex as I could handle.

I'm unsure of where to slap it.


Slap it high?
"There is no such thing as bad language - it's just our morals that are fucked." - Billy Connolly
QUOTE(Facial @ Mar 10 2008, 04:28 PM) View Post
Genetics - for whatever, relative to the porn I've seen, I can shoot a pretty big load (I'd say like 2 fluid ounces). Apparently you can't.
QUOTE(General Malaise @ Dec 21 2009, 11:53 AM) View Post
I not only bragged about the hot chicks I nailed, but I'd brag double about the hideous fat ones too. It's nearly impossible to duplicate or replicate the laughter one gets from revealing to his group of buddies he just fucked a wookie with a weight problem.
QUOTE(Butters @ Mar 7 2010, 12:51 PM) View Post
Actually looking back now that I'm healed it was pretty fucking awesome. I was ordered by my doctor/dermatologist to not have sex for at least seven days.

#95 Radical Larry

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Posted 21 February 2012 - 11:18 AM

QUOTE(jplvr @ Feb 21 2012, 06:54 AM)  

QUOTE(AnonymousBob @ Feb 19 2012, 10:44 AM)  

I'm thinkin' about adding a paraplegic and a deaf to the list. Wonder how the deaf chick would sound when she screamed and how legless would screw. I can't be the only one with these curiosities, right?

A friend of mine dated a deaf chick, and after they broke up, he said sex was weird because it always sounded like he was fucking a retard.


What's wrong with that?

Sincerely,

Mrs. MoP
QUOTE(Cranbrulet @ Aug 16 2010, 01:02 PM) View Post

I definitely took the cake this time fellas.

QUOTE(Carrie 2 @ Aug 16 2010, 01:04 PM) View Post

You misspelled cock.


#96 Shane Falco

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Posted 21 February 2012 - 11:45 AM

are you any where near Delaware?

http://delaware.back...rder-25/2806176
look at me

QUOTE(Otis Nixon @ Feb 17 2012, 08:10 PM) View Post
No. I don't have that midget fetish gene, but I am game for anything at least once...there used to be a Russian lady in Brooklyn who advertised herself as a real bonafide midget and you could fuck her every which way for $100 a half hour.

I admit to being curious so I went to see her. Turned out she was really just a very short, dumpy middle aged Russian woman.

I looked her in the eye and said, roughly, "You seem like a nice lady. There are a lot of nice ladies in Brooklyn I can fuck for about a hundred bucks. None of them are midgets. A midget is something different. Being 4 and a half feet tall does not make you a midget. It makes you short. Short is not different."

She apologized. I left. There was a pretty decent liquor store nearby that had some Russian vodkas I'd never heard of. I bought one and brought it home where it sat in a cabinet for six months and then I gave it to a buddy as a housewarming gift. We drank the whole thing together and then went to Yonkers raceway and made stupid bets on shitty horses. I won $220 and spent it on a Thai hooker. Nice girl. She wasn't a midget either.

#97 AnonymousBob

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Posted 21 February 2012 - 03:05 PM

QUOTE(Shane Falco @ Feb 21 2012, 12:45 PM)  

are you any where near Delaware?

http://delaware.back...rder-25/2806176

Other side of the country but she looks like a winner. Not ready to go with Otis but at some point I may have to break down and open the wallet to get this done.

#98 tiger fan

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Posted 21 February 2012 - 04:41 PM

QUOTE(oddball @ Feb 21 2012, 08:55 AM)  

QUOTE(bananafish @ Feb 21 2012, 01:48 AM)  

How does one have no feeling from the knees down?

She's had diabetes pretty much since she was born. In her early twenties she went into a diabetic coma, and woke up without the use of her legs.

On a side note, her desperateness to have a boyfriend led to as much sex as I could handle.


Was she hot? Into weird shit? This might need to be a thread of it's own.

#99 oddball

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Posted 21 February 2012 - 09:40 PM

QUOTE(tiger fan @ Feb 21 2012, 05:41 PM)  

QUOTE(oddball @ Feb 21 2012, 08:55 AM)  

QUOTE(bananafish @ Feb 21 2012, 01:48 AM)  

How does one have no feeling from the knees down?

She's had diabetes pretty much since she was born. In her early twenties she went into a diabetic coma, and woke up without the use of her legs.

On a side note, her desperateness to have a boyfriend led to as much sex as I could handle.


Was she hot? Into weird shit? This might need to be a thread of it's own.

She was pretty cute. Not into much weird shit. It's own thread is not needed.
QUOTE(AnonymousBob @ Oct 21 2010, 08:34 PM) View Post

I like the way this oddball guy thinks.

#100 Shane Falco

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Posted 22 February 2012 - 11:40 AM

QUOTE(oddball @ Feb 21 2012, 10:40 PM)  

QUOTE(tiger fan @ Feb 21 2012, 05:41 PM)  

QUOTE(oddball @ Feb 21 2012, 08:55 AM)  

QUOTE(bananafish @ Feb 21 2012, 01:48 AM)  

How does one have no feeling from the knees down?

She's had diabetes pretty much since she was born. In her early twenties she went into a diabetic coma, and woke up without the use of her legs.

On a side note, her desperateness to have a boyfriend led to as much sex as I could handle.


Was she hot? Into weird shit? This might need to be a thread of it's own.

She was pretty cute. Not into much weird shit. It's own thread is not needed.



you need somewhere to post the pics...
look at me

QUOTE(Otis Nixon @ Feb 17 2012, 08:10 PM) View Post
No. I don't have that midget fetish gene, but I am game for anything at least once...there used to be a Russian lady in Brooklyn who advertised herself as a real bonafide midget and you could fuck her every which way for $100 a half hour.

I admit to being curious so I went to see her. Turned out she was really just a very short, dumpy middle aged Russian woman.

I looked her in the eye and said, roughly, "You seem like a nice lady. There are a lot of nice ladies in Brooklyn I can fuck for about a hundred bucks. None of them are midgets. A midget is something different. Being 4 and a half feet tall does not make you a midget. It makes you short. Short is not different."

She apologized. I left. There was a pretty decent liquor store nearby that had some Russian vodkas I'd never heard of. I bought one and brought it home where it sat in a cabinet for six months and then I gave it to a buddy as a housewarming gift. We drank the whole thing together and then went to Yonkers raceway and made stupid bets on shitty horses. I won $220 and spent it on a Thai hooker. Nice girl. She wasn't a midget either.




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